I Am Kayak, Hear Me Roar
For those of you who know me, this last year has been a year of change. I finally settled on a career path I wanted to pursue. I completed my undergraduate degree. I packed up all my stuff to move 1,844 miles away from everything and everyone that I knew and loved to pursue my dreams. To say it’s been tough would be the understatement of the year.
Go with your gut. That’s been my motto for 2016. Most people laugh at it, because well it all started on New Year’s Eve when I was playing euchre, went with my gut, and won a difficult hand. I decided then and there that this would be how I would live my life the rest of the year. I would follow my intuition.
I am a typical over thinker, and I over analyze most situations. It’s a blessing and a curse to be able to understand multiple sides of situations, and to be able to think through the domino effect that one decision can have. Following my intuition and not letting myself over analyze every possible scenario, is potentially one of the best decisions I could have ever made.
People ask why I moved to Montana, to a city I hadn’t spent time in before. My only real answer is that my gut said it was the right decision. People ask why I chose to pursue athletic training, a high stress career that isn’t paid as well as other medical professions. Well, when I was leaving the athletic training room one day and realized if I didn’t pursue this as a career I wouldn’t get to have these experiences again my stomach instantly dropped. In that moment, I knew that athletic training is what I needed to pursue. People wonder why when I have so many things on my plate I decided to start a small business and help others live a healthy lifestyle. Well, I am passionate about health and I am passionate about helping others. My instinct and intuition has guided me along the way, and so far, it has been wonderful. I made these decisions and haven’t looked back.
When I had a free weekend from classes and clinical rotations this summer I decided to spend time in Glacier National Park for a long weekend. A place I have been to before years ago with my family. I was hoping to find someone to go with me, but being in a new place and having knowing a very limited number of people that didn’t end up happening. I was scared and nervous to go hiking in the middle of nowhere by myself, but I prepared myself and decided to go for it. I have always been a people person and hate being alone. Moving to a new place where I am completely alone, and learning to love myself has been a difficult journey for me. What a better way to have some time for self-reflection and to clear my head than to go somewhere where there were no outside distractions. Just me, myself, and I…miles deep into wilderness.
People thought I was crazy when I was at Glacier and I said I was there on my own. Heck, I thought I was crazy for doing it too. Then I realized something. I have so many amazing friends, family, mentors, etc. but they don’t live my life for me. I am in charge of my happiness. Not a boy, not my parents, not my best friend, but me. I had a free weekend and dang it I wanted to spend some time outside doing activities I love. Deciding to have a fulfilling and happy life all is dependent on my willingness to do what makes me happy.
If I wasn’t alone though I wouldn’t have met an incredibly interesting guy on the trail and got to talk about life with a stranger for a few hours. I wouldn’t have been able to meet a great family and talk to them about life back in the Midwest where they were from. I wouldn’t have had time to truly sort through my own thoughts and prioritize what makes me happy and what I truly want my future to look like.
Giving myself the time to just reboot my brain and tap into the desires of my heart was potentially one of the most healing things I could have done these past few months. This past year I have grown more as a person than I ever have before. I have learned to love myself, even the parts under construction. Even better I have learned to listen to what I need body, mind, and soul. Go with your gut may have been my motto for 2016, but it’s really the motto for the rest of my life.
If you are going to trust anyone, make sure it is yourself.
Peace & Love,
Erika